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That's a thousand times less awesome

POW! · o n e   

Hey you guys.. Listen, we're getting closer to what some of us like to remember as "the holidays", and I was thinking it's about time to clean this hell of a dump up. I mean, come on. We're swimming in trash, and everyone's pretending like it's raining as they wade through the shit of a lot of people. I know Discedo doesn't have the power to conjure up some garbage trucks for us, but so help me I'm going to build myself a damn wheelbarrow if it helps get this shit off the streets. I've been reconning the outskirts and I think I've got a good location.

Now, I'm gonna need help some help. I'm gonna need people, and these people are gonna need shovels, hammers and nails. I don't care if you're not strong enough to lift a frickin' cat, kid, cause Uncle Xigbar needs you. In teams. One team with shovels and the patience to dig a big damn pit on the outskirts of Discedo - and yeah, it's out of the wind, trust me on this - and one team willing to be picking litter; you guys need bags, boxes, carts, whatever you can find, and maybe we can clean this stuff up before the snow coats it too badly. Think of it as your good deed to society this year. And if you've already done your good deed, consider it free karma, yeah?

Now come on, because if I do this on my own it'll take a couple of years, and you know it. You filthy, filthy people.

Yeah, fellas, I know we haven't gotten along a whole lot in the past what with that whole quantum-physics debate and that I broke a nose in the process and stuff? But I'm hoping we can let bygones be bygones and you could get me the brilliant Christmas-gift of my heart back.

Pretty please? Don't make me whip out the puppy eye.


Woah, what a good idea.
It's a fucking brilliant idea. Get your shovel out.
Oh, I can't.
Well why the hell not? GET YOUR SHOVEL OUT.

Don't make me chase you down.
Woah, would you really?
Yeah, I would at that. Perhaps you'd like that, eh?
It would be pretty exciting...
I'd tell you to run and hide if I had my powers all in tow, but as things are right now, I suggest you have a shovel or a hammer at the ready when I come find you, kiddo, because I'm gonna get help, and I'm not gonna wait a week for it to get to me.
By the way, I've only one working hand and can't use a shovel.
Oh, well, just having one eye doesn't stop me from having really good aim. It's okay, we'll set you up with tying knots on garbage bags and carrying boxes or something since you can't hold a nail with your mouth and hammer it in.. Unless you're real good with the tongue.
Nah. Too clumsy.

If you don't mind my not being able to do much, though, I'm fine. Also I have four other jobs already so my schedule is a little tight, but I'm happy to help with what I can.
Holy crap, dude, that's a bit overenthusiastic. Well, you can consider this your new extracurricular activity if you want. If everyone pitched in a little bit this place'd be nice and clean pronto primo.
I like work.

Anyway, I was thinking lately some cleaning would help this place, too.
It could. I know the ideas are a bit on a large scale, but you've got to start somewhere, yeah? I just gotta get the first pit dug and people can start making a habit of taking out the trash like old regular days. Well, if wherever they came from had trash pits. Who knows. A bit of fertilizer might actually get something growing around here, apart from ceiling mistletoe.

You better not be talking about my art.
..don't think so, unless it litters the street.
You sound like an American recruiting commercial.

SUCCESS! I guess, since I am trying to recruit people. But seriously, just get a couple of boards or wheels or nails or whatever you have to spare and help a fella out here, kid. The more the merrier.

Re: [locked]

You got that right, sugar. I would rather not have to break more bones to get to it, so I thought I should play nice and ask kindly. Could you help a bloke out, bychance?

Re: [locked]

Nope, that's why I'm asking politely! I can even throw in a grin if it helps. Or perhaps you fellas want something in return.

Re: [locked]

Now don't be like that; I had no idea you had free hearts on your surgical menu. Perhaps if you went and put up a few print-outs for us little ones I'm sure we could be a lot more easy on your time.

Give me a date and a time and I'll be there fifteen minutes early.

Re: [locked]

Yeah, well, he's a super kid with super powers and some super enthusiasm, so he gets to get away with it. I get it that you folks might not want to go overboard with offering stuff, I've sort of caught on. I can respect it; it's just business.



Re: 1/3 [Voice]

Xi-Xigbar! Whoa-ho-Wooow! Geez! Long time no see, gosh! Uh...Wh-when did you get here, huh? Oh and Happy Discomas! Uhm...I take it you've settled in someplace, or-


We totally gotta catch up.

I'll help you get the Sneaky Group hookup on Hear-

Oh! Well! Looks like Sweet One beat me to it. Sharp girl.


Heya, kid! Shit, good to see you up and hoppin' again, sport. But catching up! Totally. Listen, I've got a six-pack hanging outside the window since there's no real.. fridge around here.

[He scratches his chin thoughtfully, upsetting the picture before remembering there's video on]

I should put that on the list..

[There's a small pause as the camera thing sort of tilts out of perspective, up out of his nostril and up around into a swirly eyeball and then sticks on what's.. probably a shelf of some sort. Taller than him, as he has to stand on his toes to steady the box on it properly.]

Sweet One. Oh, the Ace chick? How the shit did you catch on that conversation? ..I don't think I made a good first impression on her right here, nor her colleagues couple of weeks ago when I beat the snot out of one of them over the relativ- But yeah. They can really fix hearts for us? I mean, really really? Because if all we had to do was go get whacked to get 'em back and we wasted all that time.. I'm really gonna kick myself in the nuts.


Oh really? Did you steal it from Bad Girl? She's the only one I know around here who had a truckfulla booze, but from what I've heard from Travis, she's no one I'd even dream of asking for some. She's even higher'n Larxene on the naughty list.

There's V here, and VII and VIII and I'm technicallynotpartofanyOrganizationanymore, and Laxene and Roxas are around too. Zexion just dissapeared a few days ago, and I'm not sure which of the keybearers are still around besides Sora (Oh, but that DUCK of his is!)

Yeah, Sweet One. She's nice as far as the Sneaky Group goes. And the deal's good, lemme tell ya. I've had it since...oh, March, Aprilish- Oh, yeah, did they explain to you all the sorts of time-crazies here? I've been here for almost a whole year now.

Seems too easy, dunnit? But its no lie, really. I wish we'd wound up here way before.


Listen, kid, I have no clue who these people are, but I got lucky and was able to swap for the six-pack from some bloke that helped me the first week I was trying to get around here, so admittedly it's a five-pack. I've been saving it up for a special occasion or something, I don't know.

[Rubs at his neck and looks out the window again before he tries to squint into the little red blip, the only real sign that something's actually happening]

I don't really know a whole lot about the, uh, time-crazies? But I reckon they can't be cookier than Lux. It's good to hear about the others though.. really good. Although.. I've got to admit I'm disappointed that not everyone's made it here.


Wow, you must've laid real low, huh? This is the first time I've seen you using this thing.

Dissapointed? Uh, well, y'know, it's kinda...it's a little less crazy, with Marluxia or The Superior here any more, y'know, the general public, some conflict of interest, all that?

...Oh yeah. Uhm. You should probably know. His somebody's here. The Superior's. From before, I think, so he don't know a thing, and Zexion didn't exactly sound too keen on catching him up.


What. You mean, like. Xehanort?

..SHIT. Oh man, he's gonna go off his rocker when - and I don't mean if - he gets a good look at me. Hell, beats me if he'll even recognize me the way I look.. I mean, Zexion, sure, he didn't change much, and the Upper Slopes of Mount Lexaeus have always been sorta.. yeah. THERE, if you know what I mean. [Grinning like a fool now] Shit.. Well, that sort of.. mildens the whole thing. Xehanort now, huh, shit. Well. I think that bringing the guy up to speed with what could sort of be his future and yet might not since he's here now and [INHALE] we don't even know if he's going to be snatched away from here and dumped somewhere else and I should really stop talking shouldn't I.

Anyway. I meant disappointed as in sorry for the ones that didn't make it, whatever it meant for our sakes. I don't think that the others would raise too much of a fuss since we get hearts for free, no struggle, no apparent strings attached. It'd sort of piddle out, and they could go have their private little humdrums and plots if they felt like it and it wouldn't really concern us. Much. I mean, the whole Organization thing. That can't still be on, can it?


Yeah, him. He's been staying over at the high school. I'm in the apartments on Marshall Street, Lexaeus is across the hall. Larxene's...well, not super welcome anywhere, especially with the 'landlord' guy here. Saix is...around, I clear out of his way. Roxas and Axel are over on Latimir, with Sora, and ah...Some...Replica kid Vexen apparently made once upon a time runs the house up on Gohl Ave? That's about the rundown.

...You know, I try not to think too much 'bout that. Maybe they'll just show up fashionably late to the party, like you, huh?

Ah, I mean it's got no point, for me at least. And the others. Larxene's the only one who hasn't taken them up on their offer, apparently being so nasty ain't so fun if there's the slim chance you might feel bad for it.


Vexen made a shitload of queer things, so I ain't judging him on that particular one. But that's a lot of people that's come back, even though it's not all the ones I expected. Or perhaps if you think about it they are.. shit, I don't know, this is all a bit much to let sink in anyway. I'm thinking the best you can do is just accept it for what it is and roll with it. Would you give the big guy some love from me the next time you see him though? Right now I don't really feel like moving a whole lot. Winter-aches, you know.

She's got a point though. I'm just feeling cracked enough to enjoy it anyway ♥


Ahh...some love? Uh...I'll try?

It's nice, having a heart. This'll be my first Christmas Discomas with one! Can't wait to see if it's just like all the songs say.

(because OOC it's 4:30am and I need sleep)

Try harder. He's gotta feel it. As for, heh, Discomas.. Yeah, hopefully I'll get one of those for myself about time for that. Doesn't matter much, I can wait.

But hey, listen, kid, I'd better get going. I've got a bit of stuff to do, and it involves gloves for my stiff little fingers. I'll get back to you on the whole getting together thing. You take care, okay? I gotta rush. Ta!

[Has gotten over to the shelf with the camera propped on top while talking, and pretty quickly manages to turn it off with minimum bumps]
Such determination! Oooh, it's such a nice change from the normal around here.
Well, you know, you gotta have determination if you want something done. And to whom do I owe the pleasure of introducing myself?
The Fast and the Fucked

December 2008

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